lowKEY

i first thought it would be too difficult for me to go home. i am glad that somehow the feelings have changed. i am not yet 100% comfortable with the feeling of being home again, but somehow, i have started to conquer some of my fears.

upon arrival, i decided to have early breakfast with Free Spirit, Batang Bubuwit, at Bolang de Kanto. i was hoping Pilyong Querubin, Maputlang Seraphim, Pusong Matapang and Fine China would be around.  but knowing that the time set was too early, i felt that breakfast with them would not be possible.  either way, it was a good breakfast (not until the video was shown to me..) hehe..

i also had the chance to meet up with Clearwater.. it feels good to be around someone who knows about stories which were left unsaid to many.. being with him gave me the chance to be vulnerable again.. i remember we started our conversations with a happy tone.. then came the sad part.. funny that we suddenly became silent and were both teary-eyed.. we did not want to spend the rest of the night being sad, and so the shift to the happy note again.. (bigsigh).. it feels good talking to him.. sad and hurting stories, but good to have a guardian who knows the other side of the wall.. thank you for the dinner..

living home again was difficult.. although the feeling was a lot different from the first time i left, it was still heartbreaking on my part.. i was feeling the void again.. after the successful run, it was so sad to acknowledge the fact that emptiness was starting to take over.. on the other hand, i was happy to see Free Spirit, Batang Bubuwit, Via Yang and Trusting Heart to send me off.  Pilyong Querubin was also there.. it feels really good to feel your hug again..

here i am again.. sa bagong mundong kinasasanayan na rin.. i was eating dinner at the mega mall foodcourt alone.. there is really nothing new about that.. i guess it will be that same scene for now..


i still miss home everyday.. walang araw ang lumilipas na hindi ito hinahanap ng puso ko.. sometimes i think when the yearning of home will come to an end.. (bigsigh again)..


di bale, for now, i can go on with my running to fill the void..
yun na muna siguro...


happy tuesday Seth... missing you already..


092810tuesday