Saturday, January 7, 2012


i must admit that there was a lot of apprehensions and worries at the onset of my 2011.  being in the adjustment process brought by the big decisions in terms of career and transfer here in the metro was a struggle and at the same time a challenge.  not to mention, a little of the baggages from the past was still haunting me.

then again, God was (is) good.  i witnessed how heaven walked its way patiently during the entire year.  i experienced how the spirit of God allowed me to open myself up through little steps and through various encounters and opportunities.  everything just turned out to be gifts all on its own.  and as i saw the year come to an end, i also realized that i got much better. i knew i was stronger and ready for take off again.

there are countless blessings received that i will always be grateful for.  but i would also like to highlight some events that made the year extra special.  in no particular order of value, again thank you Lord for 2011.

this may appear like a cliche but my family (the wind beneath my wings) is my greatest gift for the year.  i really don't speak of them a lot but it is particularly this year that i got to feel their presence in a very special way.  the saying does runtrue that our families will never let us down.  i knew they know about my sadness and my struggles, but they allowed me to have things on my own pace.  i know how much they long to see my used-to-be-smiles, my signature laughs and my high energy for life, those i believe they also start to see one day at a time.  they're presence had been a gift to my healing soul and hopeful heart.

the year was also a fulfillment of my long-time dream to marvel sagada .  it was a dream come true to finally reach the destination and travel with via yang and bro.  the chance to breathe fresh and cold air was salt and pepper to my soul. (

my birthday outreach ( was also a huge blessing to me. the chance to be accompanied by beautiful souls in sharing our time with the children of virlanie became a reminder that i am blessed in so many ways and that life (short or long) has still a lot in store for me. turned one year.  as i often say, the site was born to fill in the emptiness within.  he's become a twin, a bestfriend, and a counselor all in one.  in the countless times when i had my u-turns and relapse and in a number of times of my surprising zest and hopeful sighs, he's become the witness of it all.  MYAngligaw (though lost) still got to feel what home is and thus was never alone.

2011 is special because of my uaap season 74 experience.  to finally see basketball games coming to life was thrilling in every way.  i had the opportunity to watch the games with new and old friends.  weekends turned out to be vitamins to me.  and whether people believe it or not, this experience turned out to be comfort zones to me and allowed me to take off some of the layers of my fears and inhibitions.  i started to look into my care-free self again and imagined seeing myself soar the skies again.

myMVP (emmanMonfort) was a big factor for my happy september weekends. just watching him play basketball completed my days.  oh, i just love him to the bone. he calls the play. he passes the ball. admu scores (  and yah, he reminds me of my happy heart too ( love some more.  my running journey  also celebrated its first anniversvary (runningMYA).  just when i thought i will never have that patience to do long distance running, i was surprised of the desire to just run.  i admit that i decided to run as my form of deviating my thoughts and focusing my energy to something more productive.  but after realizing that it also provides me with a different kind of bliss, i also saw myself determined to push harder and work harder to achieve my goals.  i got the chance to run 11 marathons (1-3k, 1-10k, 9-5k).  each marathon with different sets of friends.  icing on the cake of course is the fulfillment of my 21k (half marathon) finish.  i am not a very good runner, but i know that my heart flies every tie i do it.  after all, it is good for my heart (literally and figuratively).

meet and greet the journeyingjames (  i am an avid fan of what he does and a follower of his blogs.  it was a pleasure to finally meet him during the  (camSur 2011 international marathon) last september.  it was fun sharing stories with him over dinner with friends from home.  truly an honor! :)

a piece of home at the metro is truly a blessing and happiness to me.  although time spent is limited, chit chats and meas shared turn out to be absolute fun and adventure.  their presence is a comfort that brings the warmth of home and family. and by home is also the inclusion of my most beloved bicolMoon turning  manilaMoon. :)

cherry on the top is the gift of time with  RuSs and Leigh.  
cherry on the top is the gift of time with  RuSs and Leigh.  
one thing i know, ill count this twice every time i'll count my 2011 blessings ( need i say more?

my adMu family. it may not show very well, but i have learned to love them as they are.  i may find a lot of differences from where i used to be, but these differences helped me get through each day and made me braver in my learning process.  it may not be the kind of team that i see, but heaven knows that each day with you was a chance to know myself more and discover hidden strengths. it is also with these discoveries that i also thank God for the new work assignment for 2012.  as i take on a new job (which is my dream job) i continue to beg you for the strength i will need to take on the new responsibilities.  yes! yes! i 'll push myself more to higher grounds! 

my adNu. my home.  when i left home, i was scared of going back.  the idea of seeing everyone was a perfect way of witnessing a lonely heart.  it was indeed a big surprise that i felt my heart smiling, laughing and even releasing happy sighs when i spent time with them over the holidays.  i cannot say it's picture perfect, but i can say that it's a good start.

absolute foodie, here she is again. i started to turn on the stove and cook simple meals for myself and my sisters.  my eyes grew big when i realized i was cooking again.  i guess i was too surprised seeing myself in the kitchen again.  this is definitely a good sign. and i know i am better when i am ready to do desserts.  in time. in time. ref cake on the start up line!

my secret strength, theYellowGuy.  he's not your ordinary stress ball, he's like harry's wand or tinkerbell's dust. toxic and unfair days at the office end up with a smile at the sight of him.  he was also chanting for me to push to the finish line during my 21k dream.  and when some people think i am crazy, he smiles and agrees with me when i say no i am not, i am just a little unwell.  then i smile again.. just like magic. :)

i believe i tried and worked harder to turn my 2011 a better one for me.  as i acknowledge and embrace the truth that i am not 100% ok, i respected my personal space at the same time took baby steps of going out of my shell and breaking free from the sad zone.  i know that it may still take a little while, but with high hopes, i will make sure a stronger and better me will come to life.

finally seeing myself laughing my heart out.  my sister once told me that she misses the old me.  she said that she does not seem to see the same eyes that i used to have.  i know she is right.  maybe because i have not heard myself laugh so often anymore.  and this picture just sparkle a turning point as a start this 2012.  yes, i also miss my old self.  thank you free spirit and batang bubuwit for the captured moment.  i will take this with me in my back pack as i start this new year.  this will serve as my sticky-note that life is indeed short so i must choose to be happy.  that is the only option. so, how about a new profile pic for 2012?

07 january 2012 sabado

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