Saturday, June 25, 2011


oo na, aaminin ko na.

ayaw ko.
na palawakin muli ang mundo ko para magkaroon ng mga bagong kaibigan. na makipag usap ng masinsinan dahil maaari itong magbukas ng mas malalim na posibilidad. ayaw kong magbukas ng pinto para mapanatili ang sarili na mag isa sa bagong mundo.

takot ako.
na magsimula uli. na matutong maniwala at magtiwalang muli.
na tumaya, yumakap, at muling ipikit ang mata habang bumubuo ng bagong pangarap.
na magmahal at masaktan (na naman).

sabihin mo nga sa akin,
mali ba na nararamdaman ko ito?
mali ba?


Sunday, June 19, 2011


to the man i will always look up to,
happy father's day Papa.

heaven knows how much i love you so.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011


somedays, I want to run away 
this feels so perfect, it's breaking my heart 
love love love love...


Hope Feat Jason Mraz - Love Love Love Mp3

Sunday, June 12, 2011


it was independence day when cgc gave me their send off last year.. i can still see the faces of the people who were there to send me their love and support for the biggest decision i have ever made in my life.. again, thank you for the roses, for the dance, videos, songs, hugs, messages, happy tears, love and friendship.

video courtesy of MuntingTinig; words by BraveHeart

know that i miss you everyday..
from the lenses of SmilingEyes

(sorry, i don't have a copy of the other pictures)

i hope to see you all soon.. :)



back in 2004, i came up with my things-i-want-to-do-before-i-die list.. in the present times, they call it bucket list.. as of today, i have already crossed out 187 of which from my 236 listings.. i was reviewing my list last week and i felt that i won,'t have a long life-time to finish all of them and make the list in full circle.. (well, again, life can be too short for people who have HUGEdreams)... so i thought of coming up with my short-term list for now (well, at least for the next quarter of the year).. if things go well, i can always add up something in the list..

so here goes.. my special-edition-bucketlist ng MYAngligaw..
watch the CHRIStiu play.. done that actually.. but sad thing is his team lost on both games that i watched.. guess i am not a lucky charm after all huh.. nonetheless, i was able to watch a FIBA game and that's more than enough for me now.. (one down..)

azkals game.. i was never a fan of football.. even if i have friends who play the game, i never really liked it.. the idea of the game tires me.. they are like dogs running everywhere.. ohh well, not until i watched the azkals game on tv... watching it gave me a different kind of thrill.. and i started to appreciate the players and how it is played.. i won't watch it live just because of the younghusbands (like tomorrow, they are just the bonus packages), i will watch because they will be playing with the PILIPINAS flag.. and so for that matter, it will be an honor to watch them live..

finish a half marathon (21k).. i am not a good runner.. in fact, the past weeks run haven't improved my endurance level.. i guess my heart isn't cooperating 100% anymore.. still in the same context, i am determined to finish a half marathon by the 3rd quarter of the year.. it will be a gift to run with my running buddies and see people i love waiting at the finish line.. i am determined to finish it, and i hope to see you there..

go home and see everyone and give them a hug.. i know i miss everyone back home.. and i know too well that i want to give them a hug too.. i just really hope it's everyone, i don't want to leave home with missing pages again.. (i mean, at least for my last possible round, sana kumpleto na)..

swim the beaches of zambales.. as beaches served as constant witnesses to my love-turned-pale-tales, i would wish to see myself enjoying the morning and night air of the beach.. it would also be ideal for me to lay myself to rest on the sands, watch the sun say goodbye and have a smile at my zambales moon and its stars.. it would be perfect for a story ending..

prepare mango-float for people i love.. this just makes me happy every time i have the chance to do this.. it would bring me happy sighs, and happy sighs alone.. :)

run in roxas boulevard and toss a coin in  the fountain nearby.. seeing this place on tv for several times always made me feel like i will be in another universe.. this may be a common place for many, but to me it is a paradise.. the fountain (though not a wishing fountain) somehow sends me signs to try tossing a coin and whisper to it my heart's desires.. hopefully, before the coin reaches the bottom of the water, my wish be granted at normal na uli ang pintig na puso ko (death and dying then would be another story..)..

a day with the kids of cancer warriors.. like gasping for air, i wish that i can do more for you.. with high hopes, i fight with you.. hope as they say is the only thing that bind us to tomorrow.. 

Sky Lanterns, Flying Lanterns, Chinese Lanterns, Fire Lanterns. by skylanterns2u

i guess that would be all for now.. its a list of my super 8.. pretty short list but i still have my fingers crossed to have time work with me.. sana pagbigyan pa...

ikaw, para kanino ka bumabangon?

061211sunday na..

Friday, June 10, 2011


masaya ako sa araw na ito. nakasalo ko sa hapunan ang dalawa sa mga malalapit at espesyal kong kaibigan, sina Uling (na kasama ang kanyang baby) at si Death and Dying.  lalong naging masaya din dahil lutong bahay ang pinagsaluhan namin sa dampa ng riverbanks, sizzling baked tahong, liempong baboy at sinigang na hipon. may ilang segundo rin ang dumaan na naalala kong bigla ang mga taong mahal ko sa kabilang dako ng mundo dahil na rin sa napaparehong luto ng tribo grill. 

batid ng langit na gusto ko silang mayakap dahil sa tuwa na makita at makasama sila.
on the other note...

i kinda find it weird na sa mga nakalipas na araw, biglang nag susulputan sa paligid ko ang mga kaibigan at ilang taong naging malapit sa puso ko noon. ilan sa kanila nakita ko sa mrt station, meron sa mall, sa kalsada, simbahan, at pati rin habang tumatakbo ako sa aking malaking playground.

ang totoo, magkahalong excitement at takot ang nararamdam ko dahil doon. excitement in a way na sa isang iglap bigla mong maaalala yung pagkakaibigan ninyo at lahat na patungkol sa nakaraang samahan.  takot  din in a sense na parang ipinapahiwatig o baka pinapaalala na dumadaan ang araw at umiiksi (at the same time) tumatakbo ang oras at panahon.  hai... sa mga oras na ito, hindi ko alam kung anong pakiramdam ang mas nangingibabaw.

gayun pa man, sa bawat mukha kong nakikita na nagpapangiti sa akin, hindi ko rin pinapalipas ang pagkakataon para magpasalamat pa rin sa espesyal na biyayang ito. hindi ko mararok ang ibig ipahiwatig ng mga pagkakataong ito, subalit batid ng puso ko na importante ang bawat minutong dumadaan kaya nararapat lamang ito na pahalagahan.  

may nagtanong sa akin kung ano ang paborito kong dasal..

kunin mo O Diyos at tanggapin mo
ang aking kalayaan, ang aking kalooban
isip at gunita ko lahat ng hawak ko, ng loob ko 
ay aking alay Sayo..
nagmula Sayo, ang lahat ng ito
muli kong handog Sayo, patnubayan mo't paghariaang lahat
ayong sa kalooban mo mag utos ka Panginoon ko
dagling tatalima ako, ipagkaloob mo lag ang pag ibig mo
at lahat ay tatalikdan ko


Wednesday, June 8, 2011


its raining outside.. i took a deep breath (as i have always loved the smell of rain) and suddenly, the smell of it reminded of me home again (i have been thinking of going home the past days.. :( ) in so doing, i thought that writing about my favorite scents in the world would help ease the sudden loneliness i have inside my heart now.

the morning air. together with the sight of the beautiful mt. isarog, you serve as good morning pop ups before i go to work.

ivory soap. it was still innocence when i fell in love with you. your scent always brought me to a world of gentleness and mildness.  night baths are the bests because of you.  

freshly cut grass. one thing i love about adnu is your once a month party.  the smell of your greens are like stimulants to me (hehe.. addict).

everbilena's blackwater (for men) aqua scent. you are peace and serenity to me. you are contentment and security to me. your scent is home, is refuge. i love it on my sheets. every sleep is like lying on clouds, and dreaming of happy things and bestest sighs. can i keep you?

night beach. its always a gift to smell you and at the same time enjoy the sight of my moon and its stars.  you are witness to every love-story-turned-pale in my life. and you always placed high hopes on me to hear me utter the words "next please."

toasted sipao, chicken skin, corned beef, badi. how do i love thee, let me count the ways. 

elizabeth arden's green tea. the smell of citrus, peppermint, and soft musk never fails to excite my nostrils and my spirit. 

mama's scent and clothes. its weird that even if she changes colognes or perfumes, its like the same scent that i keep smelling since i was a kid.  amazing grace.

its only now that i realized that the scents i love the most are very much associated with where my home really is.. i look forward to discovering new scents here in my new heaven.  in time... 

060811 wednesday (oh, its wednesday)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

bagongLANGIT: heartHEALED

bagongLANGIT: heartHEALED


remember the last time i asked you for prayers for our litte sophia (forSOPHIE)? heaven may have heard so many prayers about her that finally, she will be going home after celebrating two years of her birthday in the hospital.. she was in fact all over the news in canada, and even probably the whole of US for being the first person to be saved by the berlin heart.  

i read so many articles about her heart story and cannot contain myself from shedding tears, all because of happiness, gratefulness, and pride.  with great joy, i lift my hands to heaven because of this gift (yes, if anyone deserves a longer life, my little sophie tops the list)..with humbled gratefulness i offer my heart to heaven as well for keeping the entire family close and strong in the presence of all odds.. with great pride, i bow down to little sophie for the remarkable courage and will she showed, and for being a constant reminder to her many people who surrounded her that life remains to be the most precious gift of all..

i take this opportunity to thank friends who knew her story from the day i asked for prayers when she was first diagnosed with blood cancer.. now again, i still ask for your prayers that she really goes to full recovery and live the life every little girl so deserves..

i just realized, when some doors were closed to me, windows took a peek.. but what's more magical of all, even the entire roof opened...

read more of her heart recovery stories.. edmontonjournal/news/storygirlsheartheals.

eat. pray. love. run. and love some more...
because at the end of the day, yes, miracles do happen, just life magic... :)