Tuesday, October 30, 2012


exchanging stickies with an officemate..

nikki: ei tsong, ok ka lang? tindi ng sagutan ah.
officemate: ok lang ako. matira matibay. sya ang bumigay.
nikki: iba ka talaga. di ko kaya ang gawa mo. lamat na naman yan. although lalaban din naman ako pag nasaid na ko. pero iiyak pa rin ako. haha.
officemate: iyakin ka kasi. hindi pwede ang ganun. if she wants war, i'll give her war. so dapat may bala ka lagi.
nikki: i can give you war if you ask one. pero mangyayari lang talaga yun pag said na ko. tsaka, elitista kasi ako. i need to choose my wars well. haha.
officemate: hindi kasi ako kagaya mo na napa ka structured na tao na pati pag laban naka checklist.
nikki: di ninyo talaga tatantanan ang checklist ko ha. sige, good luck girl!

am i really that structured?
i wonder...


Tuesday, October 23, 2012


at kung ang pagsinta ay di man nagtagal
ang mas mahalaga natutong magmahal
umibig na walang panghihinayang
kahit malamang na masaktan

he always saw himself as a ninja.  and just like a true ninja he lived in his own forms of silence, knows all types of combat and was invincible in his ways. but he was no ordinary ninja.  he was extra special. because aside from his mighty skills, he knew love. in that submission to love, he became vulnerable. he was doing well with love as his new weapon until he met and encountered pain.suddenly, things were never the same again.

ang pag asa'y walang hanggan
pag ibig ay walang hadlang
at lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan

like any other pain story, his was not too far from an isolation. its the same broken hearts, unfulfilled promises, vanished dreams, shattered pieces, bucket of tears, wrong directions, can't eat, can't sleep, lost souls,  tulala and more tulala and tulala uli. he experienced every grueling form of falling and unfathomable dying. 

then again, as he has embraced love so tightly, it was even more powerful than letting himself lose in the process. love as the mightiest weapon, taught him to look up again, and see hope in his brokenness, one step at a time.

ang bato sa tubig ay lulutang
at lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan

any form of love never promised that the journey would be a bed of roses. embracing love is the same way as embracing the bumpy roads of life, the roller coaster of emotions. embracing love teaches one to be vulnerable yet hopeful that life has a lot more to offer than the pain that circumstances can bring.

he always thought he was a ninja. and although ninjas are invincible, it doesn't mean they don't get hurt. and so, sometimes, new warriors come along.

that was when blue ranger was born. so whether or not the ninja will return, what is important is that he knew love. and he in truth, loved deeply too.

at the end of the day, ninjas or blue rangers will always be special treats from heaven. after all, they were made and are meant to be that way in the lives of the chosen few.

and when they are ready again, lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan.

at gaya ng mga MyangLigaw, i will wait for that one day when i will see a full smile on the ninja's or the blue ranger's face.

no regrets coach,
only hope.

lifted some lines from saranggola sa ulan ni gary granada

Monday, October 22, 2012


its exactly 2 weeks ago when someone asked me how i am doing, and i heard myself saying "im okay. i am happy."

i cried when i realized that after a very long time, it was only on that day that i said "i am happy." those were happy tears of course. finally, i know that my wings are stronger and are ready for its next big flight.

in introspection, i know that i really cannot change things anymore. what i have now is way different with what i used to have. i may have lost some people along the way, but my life would have been colorless if not for them anyway.  i may have not known this side of me if i did not risk and go out of my comfort zone. i may still be afraid of death if i did not see and experience dying.

life will always be a big mystery in many ways. but one thing for sure, what are written in the stars will fall in its place according to the Master's perfect time.

i miss naga. i miss adnu. i miss the people. i miss my nagaMoOn.

but i am happy where i am now.
finally, i have learned to embrace that i am exactly where God wants me to be.

i am teary-eyed now, but yes,
along with this big sigh coming, is my heart and souls' whisper that
i am happy.
i am okay.
i am home.