Saturday, October 16, 2010


i am literally shaking right now. my hands are too cold. i just did another u-turn.
lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko, what i don''t know won't hurt me"..
ang kaso, hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang paminsan minsan na maghanap ng mga sagot sa tanong ko..
in the end, i lose..
i lose really bad..
dahil paulit ulit kong pinapatalo  ang sarili ko.  

i'm really hurting right now.  i just want to run outside and cry out loud. i'm just too tired of going back to zero.
too tired, yet i can't leave things behind. too hurt, yet still holding everything like diamonds in my hand.
too hurt, yet letting my heart beat with the same music of the dance.

my hands are still too cold. if only i can freeze time right now. i don't want this feeling anymore..
i just want to cry like a little girl whose too scared because she doesn't know what to do.  
takot ako, galit ako, nasasaktan ako,
takot akong nakikitang muli ang mga luha ko, pati marinig bawat tibok ng puso ko. 

my hands are still cold, yet it remains tightly closed.
why am i too scared to just open my hands?
why am i too frightened to just close my eyes and smile, that once upon a twice, it happened.  
why is it so hard to embrace that the third time was the end. 

it should be goodbye now, not see you later.
it should be.


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