crossingFINGERS

its nice to be home.. the time to be with family gives me a pleasant feeling.. not to forget, i really looked forward to mamas home cooking again.. thats why im making the most out of the food available here.. haha..

on the other hand, i still chose to just stay here and watch tv rather than go out with them to the city.. good thing i had a good alibi not to go along (but really, im feeling sick naman talaga..).. hehe.. i just have the feeling na going out would also mean big chances of seeing familiar faces... just the thought of it still breaks my heart.. hay.. although, part of me really wants to see them too, and hug them.. really tight.. i dont know, maybe its plain cowardice..

the first night i came inside my room was really sad.. feeling my bed again and seeing things and toys which remind me of a lot of people brought me to tears again (buti na lang tulog na mga kapatid ko..).. so practically, i cried myself to sleep again during my first night here.. its so ironic that my home is giving me sad memories as well..

its only my second day here.. i was telling Pusong Matapang yesterday my thoughts of not leaving home (for good) was maybe just a product of exciting possibilities.. akala ko kaya ko na, hindi pa pala... 


i really feel sick today.. the the cold wind outside is making it worse..

its my second day... its only my second day..
i still look forward to ending this year right..
at least,
end this year right..

i can only hope..

happy christmas everyone..
warm hugs and big smiles..: )

122610sunday