i was really looking forward to this day.. the office was scheduled to have an activity in celebration of the advent season.. i was glad that i was tasked to be in charge of the preparations.. finally, the day came.. i was really happy to be sitting there and having my quiet time with my officemates.. then came the sharing..
i was teary-eyed while some of my officemates were sharing.. although they were not really very transparent with how they were (maybe) feeling.. suddenly, i heard a voice.. "bakit ka nag eemote dyan, e hindi mo naman turn mag share.. nauna ka pang mag emote.." then everyone else laughed.. i was surprised of the reactions.. i felt sized-up.. i felt that it's the most embarrassing moment of my life..
my turn to share came.. i composed myself, yet again got teary-eyed when i spoke of home.. they started to laugh again.. (big sigh).. my mind cannot fully understand why they were like that.. why some people can laugh at others in their sensitive moments..
on the other hand, i thought, this really is a different world in here.. a lot different from the world i used to have.. yung mundo na kahit walang sinasabi ang mga tao sa paligid mo, mararamdaman mo na walang masama kung umiiyak ka.. yung kahit hindi sila magsalita, mararamdaman mo na yakap ka nila..
first, i realized that in this world i am in, it's work and it's all about work..
second, in this world i am in, your head should be bigger than your heart..
(big sigh).. i was looking forward to the activity as i was so excited to get to know the other side of my new officemates.. well, i still did.. just that it's not what i was expecting.. lucky-unlucky-me..
i held the cup with my two hands and sip the warm chocolate in it.. the warmth of the porcelain on my hand and the warm feeling it gave me as i sipped it opened my heart to think of the many people i hold close in my heart.. vessels of my spirit.. yes, i remembered everyone.. and i remembered you too, more than once..
"if it is an empty cup,it only means it can still be filled up.. if its half-full, it means it can still over flow.. it's okay to have your cups empty once in a while so you can have room for more and new things.. they say a generous heart is never full because it continues to give and let go.."