Wednesday, January 12, 2011

changingHEART

i just finished clicking the mouse to send my reply for the job offer and the possibility of going home..
after exploring the possibilities, after praying on it, after waiting for answers, signs, and more signs,
i came up with my decision..

digdi ka na lang.. halata man na gustuhon mo na mag balik (Bolang de Kanto)

whatever will make you happy (Pilyong Querubin)

ask for a sign (Fine China)

head or heart (Free Spirit)

kung saan ka masaya, dun ako (Pusong Matapang)

basta kung ano man yan, just seek happiness (Seth)

whatever your heart tells you (Via Yang)

you will learn everything along the way (Wisdom Tooth)

i said Yes to going home..

hindi pa sapat ang kaalaman para yumakap sa mas malaking posibilidad.. hindi pa rin handa na lumipad sa mas malawak na kalangitan.. hindi pa panahon para makita ang mga ngiti ng nakagisnan na mga anghel sa buhay ko.. hindi pa handa ang Mya..


i said Yes to going home..

all signs led me to say Yes..
i need not flip a coin (http://bagonglangit.blogspot.com/2010/07/flippingcoins.htmlto know the answer..
even the skies showed me the clues..

i said Yes to going home..

this new place gave me the chance to start and pick the pieces.. the people have started to embrace me for my vulnerabilities and idiosyncrasies.. time and chances made me see another view of starless and moonless nights (but can be heaven all on its own).. situations allowed me to accept my fears without leaving them behind.. options brought me to arrive to a choice (half hearted or whole).. choices taught me to hold on to hope and its meaning..

i have to shut my eyes to see the signs again,..
i have to pretend not to hear the answers..
i have to skip a heartbeat to numb the call..
i can't look, listen, and feel right now..
because i have to go against the obvious,
i have to take on another route..
and settle for an option (rather than a choice)..


with tears in my eyes, i clicked the mouse..
i said Yes  
going home na..
only that its a different home i'm going to..

for now.
for now.

see you later guys.. 


"kung  hanap mong kasiyahan ay yung di ka masasaktan,
tanga ka!"
-hernandez (2011) on eudaimonia, translated by hubert abergos from  bicol to tagalog-



011210wedenesday
(to think its a wednesday)

10 comments:

  1. i was just about to tell you that its yet another UTURN :')

    ano pa man, HUGS!

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  2. i don't get it. but whatever it is, stay happy.

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  3. para sa pilosopo...

    not all said is done.
    and not all done is wanted...

    flight is not an act of retreat...
    it's finding new adventures...

    :p

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  4. thanks guys..

    @iangelo.. good to see you here..
    @rexstatic.. malabo ba? tanong ka na lang kay bosing..

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  5. @mya pgngtanong ako nyan, ipapasa sayo, pag sayo naman di ka magsasabi so wag na lng :D

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  6. @rexstatic: sorry man, di ko kaya aram if i need to tell you or not.

    @mya: may point si rexstatic, bka kasi ayaw mong ipaalam kaya di na lang ako sumasagot. sorry.

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  7. @simplixiety.. hehe.. ok na, alam na ni rexy.. galing talaga ni boss.. lips sealed..

    pero di alam ni rex ang golden rule kapag mag kkwento.. hehe..

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