nextPLEASE

i was so lazy to pull myself up this morning from bed. looking at the window, i can see a whether so cozy for a much longer and deeper sleep.  if only i can just stay home and be absent for work. 

on the other hand, its Sabado.. and as always, i look forward to it.. so i started fixing up for work, at the same time trying to be positive for my day, and singing i love you Sabado, pati na rin Linggo.. hintay ka lang Jollibee nandyan na ko..

work was still pretty much the same. wala pa rin araw na dumadaan na wala akong lapses sa work ko.. and again, the fear of putting someone elses employment at risk continue to bother me.. everyday lapses.. i wonder if it is taking me so much time to learn things..

but what the heck, its Sabado.. bahala na si batman sa Tuesday.. ill continue my worries next week..

i went home looking forward for my afternoon plans.. im quite excited to see Berdeng Ibon.. i asked him to join me in my afternoon activity.. for a change, i thought that having someone with me around would make things lighter.. after all, its been like being on a silent retreat for the past weeks..

finally, the time has come for my feet to meet the oval again.. join me and my happy feet as we venture to another drift from life..

one-full-round (walking). i told myself that ill spend my energy with running to help keep me away from things that bother me. choosing this took me a lot of readiness, patience, and acceptance of what i have lost, and what i still have with me. warming up helped me prepare in starting another journey.
one-full-round, for the courage to start the quest to be whole again.

two-full-rounds. i have never completed a full run in the oval before.  amazingly, i was able to complete two rounds for my first set.  i dont know exactly where the energy and the drive is coming from. with just the goal to finish two rounds in my mind, i was able to reach my target.
two-full-rounds, for two memories of the past.

three-full-rounds. my legs were starting to be heavy.  i decided to stop and rest for a while.  and after feeling that i am ready for another flight, i set my pace and targeted for a plus-one-round.. my legs started to become more relaxed and i can sense that it is okay for me to continue and trust another round. i completed it and i realized i have improved my stamina.
three-full-rounds, for the third time she believed in magic, her undeclared asset.

four-full-rounds. i was thinking of going home already, but the urge to stay longer was totally inviting. i gave in and try for another set.  i was just targeting three rounds, but i can really feel the push to increase my capacity.  my legs were tired but at the same time, i was really finding comfort in running. heartbeats are getting faster.  i closed my eyes and find solace in my breathing.

four-full-rounds, to leave behind dancing and just conciously choose to run.

one-full-round. i had to slow down to finish the entire routine.  i breathe in tomorrow and breathe out the past. i breathe in my sources of strength and breathe out those that pull me down.  i breathe in my spirit and breathe out theirs. 
one-full-round, to be patient with myself as it is taking me a longer time but positively waiting for my next please..

i was telling Berdeng Ibon that i needed to run, after all its cardio exercise.. after all, it will be good for the heart.. my heart..  : )
 082810saturday